Just like the lily in winter’s snow – Waiting for spring – I face the darkness so cold and alone – Looking for light -Wanting to grow – Waiting to sing- I want to sing.
From the Song, “I will Survive” by Cynthia Clawson
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Desmond Tutu
The above photo, though not of lilies, (Daphne, I think) reminded me of the words to Cynthia Clawson’s song, “I will Survive” That song holds special meaning to me as I first heard it during a very dark and lonely period of my life. In early January of 1993 I was putting closure on a marriage of 20 years, my youngest son had left for college in the fall, and following the excitement of the holiday festivities, I was truly alone for the first time in my adult life. On one level I was very much enjoying the autonomy and freedom of being single, on the other hand I was naturally feeling the cold and darkness of winter that first season on my own. One evening, on a moonless night, depressed and unable to sleep I got up and around midnight climbed up a hillside in my suburban neighborhood . Finding a curbside spot overlooking my little valley, bundled up against the cold, I sat down to rest after the long climb. The brisk night air and the sparkling multi-colored Christmas lights on the homes below filled me with an overwhelming sensation that I can only describe as hope. That sensation gave me the emotional energy to hope for a better future.
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.. Martin Luther King
Hope — It is a word filled emotion — differing emotions for some than for others and at various times and situations. There can be the excitement of an anticipated pleasant experience — at other times, the anticipation of disappointment overrides any sense of hope for a positive expected outcome. I have definitely experienced all of those emotions. Recently a friend of mine shared the frustration of a reoccurring troublesome issue in a relationship, that led her to proclaim, “It’s just way too painful to hope.” Boy, do I relate! Perhaps you can relate as well. Waiting, we pray, and then — a glimmer of hope. As the distressing situation seems to improve we enjoy a season of sailing on smooth waters. Then sadly — poof — disappointment knocks the wind out of our hopeful sails and once again we find ourselves navigating the choppy waves of discouragement.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverb 13:12
How do we find it in ourselves to continue hoping when we repeatably experience the heart sickness of deferred hope? The one way that I have come to find peace in the midst of situations and times of absolute discouragement, is to look to The One who Is Hope. Not in any hoped for outcome, situation, person, place or thing. It doesn’t mean I stop praying for change, growth, healing, restoration. It means I set my hope in God alone. I take people off the hook, so to speak of meeting my expectations. It doesn’t mean I let them walk on or abuse me. I maintain my healthy boundaries of self respect and I speak the truth regarding my feelings and needs, but without any expectations.
I recently found great comfort in these words… If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18. Did you catch that part about “as much as depends on you”? I know that I cannot control anyone but myself and my own responses to the difficult people around me. I can find peace and I can experience a life of hope regardless of the seeming hopelessness of some situations. I pray that you too might resolve to live a life of hope and to experience the peace of knowing The One who is Hope, who is Peace. He is just a prayer away.
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
P.S. I also take great comfort and find strength in the words of the Serenity Prayer. Click here for the original complete version by Reinhold Niebuhr.
Be well, Be blessed!
Mary
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